Thursday, December 11, 2008

The Master Plan - An Ace and Teixeira

Remember this time last year? When the Yankees didn't want to spend money on free agents? Remember when they didn't want to give up young talent AND pay free agent money to Johan Santana? Here's why folks:

The Yankees were hoping that the Twins wouldn't be able to trade Santana, making him a free agent at the end of the season. If he got to free agency, he was clearly the #1 choice. The Yanks were able to hedge this bet because CC Sabathia was also due for free agency. If they missed out on Santana, CC was next in line. So they were spending $23 million a year on a pitcher regardless, but didn't want to part with young, cost controlled pitching.

Heading to the 2007 offseason, the Yankees had a gaping hole at first base. Don't think for one minute that they actually wanted Giambi to wear anything that said Rawlings on it. The plan was to sign Mark Teixeira, who at the time was coming into free agency with the Atlanta Braves. Instead of testing the market, Teixeira opted to sign a 1-year deal with Atlanta. With Teixeira off the market for another year the Yanks kept first base open and their checkbooks closed (save the new ARod contract).

Here's where things went horribly, horribly wrong. Cashman and company expected to get something out of Phil Hughes or Ian Kennedy last season. At least enough to pencil one of them into a spot in the 2009 rotation. Unfortunately, neither was able to deliver. The Yankees were probably hoping for a rotation of Wang, pettitte (to resign), hughes, kennedy, with joba in the bullpen (potentially). Instead, they are looking at Wang, Joba, ?, ?, ?. So instead of signing one big name free agent pitcher, they need a second.

I don't think it was ever the plan to sign AJ Burnett or Derek Lowe, but to quote 'Chip Douglas': "Necessity is the mother of invention."

The 2008 offseason was always about acquiring a bonafide #1 pitcher, and Mark Teixeira -- AJ Burnett or Derek Lowe are the reaction to last season's pitching problems.

Teixeira is the ideal Yankee first baseman. Gold Glove caliber defense, high OBP, switch hitter, hits for power. Teixeira is the best young position player to hit the market since Alex Rodriguez. Please don't let anyone fool you into thinking that the Yankees will let this kid play in Anaheim or Boston for the next 8 years.
I for one won't be surprised if Mark Teixeira is there to open the "House that George Built".

Yanks to add a bat?

The pitching staff seems to have undergone a facelift, but let's face it, the (proposed) lineup has holes:

Damon LF (can he stay healthy and effective?)
Jeter SS (put together a nice second half, but a decline isn't out of the question)
Matsui DH (coming off of injury plagued seasons, also declining from age)
A-Rod 3B (it's an odd year, he wins MVP's every odd year - he'll be a monster)
Posada C (had a freak season two years ago, expect him to revert to career averages)
Nady RF (expect .280, 20 HR, 80-100 RBI if all goes well)
Cano 2B (Yanks are hopeful he can return to form and maybe be the #3 hitter)
Swisher 1B (Coming off a miserable season)
Gardner CF (Great speed, but can't hit a lick)

Not the Bronx Bombers that we all know and love. I would be VERY surprised to see the Yankees move into their new ballpark with this lineup. They created holes (letting Giambi & Abreu walk) in order to patch up the rotation. But face it, chicks dig the long ball. Here's my theory:

The Yanks will be serious about Mark Teixeira, very serious.

Reason #1 - Look at the lineup above.

Reason #2 - The Yanks have spent most of their drafting resources on power pitchers, therefore, have very little in position players in the minor leages. Eric Duncan is not the answer. Juan Miranda? Ehh, don't think so. Jesus Montero is a beast, but he's years away.

Reason #3 - No matter what they say, they can afford him. The Yanks say they want to keep payroll down. Why? I ask. They have $90 million coming off the books, and are moving into a cash flow monster of a new stadium!!!!

CC - 23 million per
AJ - 16 million per
Pettitte - 12 million per (hypothetically)
Rounding out the bench - $4 million
Total = $55 million

Add Mike Cameron's 10 million and you have $65 million in additions. That leaves $25 million dollars to spend on a bat. (Teixeira anyone).

The argument can be raised that they'll need payroll flexibility to extend Wang in the near future. Matsui and Damon are both off the books next year (another $25 million in AAV)

They can afford Teixeira, plain and simple.

Rotation version 2009?

Ok, so C.C. Sabathia is now on board and it appears that A.J. Burnett and possibly Andy Pettitte are soon to follow. This leaves a rotation of: CC, Wang, Burnett, Pettitte, and Joba. I expect Aceves to be the long man with Hughes and Kennedy starting the season in AAA.

Assuming everyone stays healthy, I expect Girardi to get creative with the rotation right around the all-star break in order to limit Joba's innings to keep him ready for the stretch run. Figure on the hottest of the Aceves/Hughes/Kennedy trio finding their way into the rotation somehow.

An interesting thought on top of it, thinking way ahead here. Assume the Yanks get to the postseason with all five/six of their starters healthy, what does the playoff rotation look like? They may only need 3 starters for the opening round and then 4 for the ALCS and/or WS. Do you keep Andy Pettitte off the post season roster? Or, do you move Joba back to the bullpen and go with a rotation of CC, Wang, Burnett, and Pettitte? I know it's a reach, but it's thought provoking none the less.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Science of the CC Free Agency

The key to any negotiation is to have leverage. Enter CC Sabathia.

Over the past few days, the Yankees' bid for CC is being greeted with skepticism and panic. "Where is CC?" "Why hasn't he signed yet?" "He wants to hit and play in California?" "Money isnt important to him." "He hates New York."
Sheep, all of us, sheep.

Let's look at this whole thing in terms of leverage and rationality.

The Yankees have been telegraphing this move since last year when they wouldn't trade for Johan Santana. It was well known then that they would need to sign Sabathia. Forget the kids, even if Hughes and IPK dazzled last year, the Yanks were still going to go after Sabathia, and hard.

The Yanks clearly had zero leverage. Sabathia knows this. During the season, Cleveland knew this. After failed attempts to sign him to an extension, the Indians traded CC to Milwaukee for whatever return they could get; knowing they would not get a hometown discount versus the Yankees. Milwaukee made the deal for the short-term, they were not expecting to outbid the Yankees or retain CC's services. Instead, they were looking to make the playoffs for the first time in ages and hopefully bring life to a near dead franchise.

Milwaukee threw an offer of 5 yrs./$100M in good faith to show that they would like to have CC back, but that they knew it wouldn't be enough to outbid the Yankees. The Yankees have already shown their hand, and are expected to make a bid early in the offseason. On the first day, they make a 6 yr/ $140M offer, big enough (they hope) to scare the other teams away. The reasoning is simple, if nobody else bids on CC, he has no leverage and will come to NY on their first offer.

CC and his agent knows this. So the most obvious step in this 'business equation' , is to figure out how to regain leverage to receive a maximum return. The way to do this is to remain quiet, and wait for other offers to come in. Make the Yankees think that while their offer may be the highest, there are other factors involved. Make them wait, make them sweat, make them doubt their offer, make the media go crazy, make New Yorkers think there will be no Christmas without CC. Make the Yankees bid against themselves.

The rest of baseball knows this as well. Does anyone else find it odd that no team has made an offer to Sabathia since the Yankees? This is the #1 free agent on the market with a huge offer already in front of him, and while teams are interested, none of them have made an offer. Obviously they know something that we don't, that the longer they make the Yankees wait for CC, the less competition they will get from the Yankees on other free agents. In addition, there are a number of other free agent pitchers available, they cannot afford to let the Yankees set the market on pitching. If they do, the Yankees can pick and choose whoever they'd like.

While money has never been an object in New York, $140 million dollars is a lot and whether or not CC signs with the Yankees will have a huge impact on how they progress in this free agent period. The plan in New York is simple, sign CC and go from there.

On a side note, for those who are convinced that CC will sign with the Dodgers or Giants on a hometown discount, remember this: he didn't sign an extension with Cleveland on a hometown discount, and he didn't respond to the Brewers' offer either. This is a 28 year old pitcher with the world in the palm of his hands. This may be the last contract he ever signs, he needs to think about the rest of his life, the rest of his children's lives, there is no doubt that the lure of the new stadium and the megamillion dollar endorsement contracts in New York can help him settle in California six years later than he would have liked. In 2008, in this economy, you don't leave $40M on the table, and you certainly don't sign for $140M if you think you can hold out for $150M.

CC will be a Yankee. This isn't because I'm a Yankee fan who believes that every player wants to be a Yankee. He will be a Yankee for the same reason that other prime aged free agents have signed with the Yankees. Money, Money, and more Money.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Why no blogging?

Just in case anyone has checked this and wondered why I haven't been writing a damn thing about the Yankees - the answer should be quite simple. They have been terrible. Watching them makes me so sick I can barely stand to read anyone else's blog let alone write my own.

I am going to try to get this thing going again - I am looking forward to reviewing the season so far and grading the roster. Also, I plan to look at the players on the farm who we may be seeing as soon as September...Stay tuned and thanks for the patience...

Trivia for you Don Swan - Who was the last Yankee to hit for the cycle? What year did he do it? What team was it against? What event in this player's career was a significant moment for Yankee history?

(Hint: This is Michael Kay's favorite trivia questions, you'll see it on YES twice a month)

Congratulations to Jon Lester

As a Yankee fan, I hate to see the Red Sox, or anyone on their team for that matter do anything good. Tonight, however, is an exception. So much in fact, that I am blogging for the first time in almost two months to congratulate Jon Lester on his no-hit performance from earlier tonight. This feat is about more than baseball as only a year ago Lester was undergoing cancer treatments for lymphoma. His ability to recover from his illness, make it back to the big leagues, and now throw a no-hitter is a wonderful story for baseball and baseball fans everywhere. Don't get used to it, but tonight my hat goes off to a Red Sox player - Jon Lester, congratulations.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

The Sights and Sounds of Spring

After a month of inactivity due to nothing more than sheer laziness, let's take a look at the some of the questions/items I previewed last month:

1.) Joe Girardi - It's hard to judge a manager by a few weeks of spring training, but Girardi seems to have acclimated himself very well with his new position as the Yankees' skipper. The way General Joe carries himself has never been a mystery to Yankees' fans, and I have no worries he will be able to handle the media circus that is NY. The most telling sign to me is that the veteran players have really embraced their new manager. Players reported to camp in outstanding shape and what seems to be a very positive outlook. Girardi has handled the Andy Pettitte and Tampa Bay Rays controversies about as well as Torre could have (if not better).

2. Andy Pettitte - At the end of his first day at camp, Andy addressed the media and the rest of baseball via press conference from Legend's Field/George Steinbrenner Field. Andy's confession and apology was perhaps the most genuine account we have seen during the entire PED investigation. While he was wrong in doing what he did, I think Andy has handled this situation with grace and dignity - something I'm sure baseball fans will use to forgive him. As for his performance thus far, aside from a little bit of elbow tenderness, Andy seems fine and ready to pitch this season.

3. CMW Contract - Wang lost in arbitration but has no hard feelings. He has been working on his off speed stuff which should help him tally a few more K's and keep hitters off balance (7 K's today vs. Cleveland in 4.1 innings).

4. A-Rod's 10 year $275 million deal - Oddly enough, we haven't heard much about Alex this spring. While that certainly is a change, Arod's performance on the field hasn't as he is pulverizing the baseball this spring. Note to that AL - Watch out...

5. Jeter - Stay tuned on Jeter this year. He changed his training regimen this off season for more speed and quickness - hopefully we'll see some added range and few nagging injuries.

6. Joba - Joba's role has yet to be defined. He has gotten hit a little more than we are used to this spring, but I'm sure he'll put together a nice year.

7. First Base - Two words - Jason Giambi. The Giambino is in great shape (contract year), and has been playing a very good first base this spring. Girardi has made no secret that he wants Giambi to play first. Jason's career numbers are much better when he's at first base, and with the outfield log jam, Jason needs to be at first. Shelley looks great also, probably to back up and spell the OF's and Giambi vs. a tough lefty.

8. The Bullpen - Mariano is Mariano. Kyle is happier with Girardi around. Hawkins has looked good. Bruney lost a ton of weight. Aside from that, not much to write about here. We'll see what happens.

9. Phil & Ian - It's going to be a lot of fun to watch these guys this year. Aside from a rocky last start, Hughes has been nothing short of brilliant. He's in great shape and seems determined to live up to the hype. Ian has given up a couple gopher balls, but I wouldn't read into it. He's a cerebral pitcher who doesn't want to show too much to opposing hitters. I love this kid.

10. Moose - He was awful in his first start of the spring but has been great since. He's looking like he did in 2006. If he can come close to that, the pen will be much stronger with Joba in there. Moose is the key and so far it fits.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Spring Training Preview

With pitchers and catchers reporting to camp on Thursday, I figured it'd be a good time for a spring training preview. The following are sure to be hot items heading into the spring.

1. Joe Girardi's first appearance as Yankees Manager - It's going to be very strange to see someone other than Joe Torre at the helm for Yankee players and fans, but it will be interesting to see how Joe handles the New York media, the young players, and the veterans. I'm a very big fan of Girardi and expect that he'll hit the ground running.

2. Andy Pettitte and the fallout from the Mitchell Report - The media is still eating this story up and I really don't foresee them slowing down. It's going to be a rough spring for Andy. Reports already indicate that he is behind schedule in his workouts. It will be interesting to see how well he responds. Andy has always been a class act and handled his inclusion in the report as best as possible; I am sure he will do the same with the media. I am hoping that the fans will be supportive of him and that the media gets bored with this.

3. Chien-Ming Wang and salary arbitration - It doesn't make much sense to me why the two sides can't agree on a one-year deal here. Wang is asking for $4.6 million and the Yanks are offering $4.0 million. For a team that shells out money like they do, it's hard to understand why the Yanks are trying to save money on their ace pitcher. Additionally, Wang would like to be tied up long term; however, he is not eligible for free agency until 2011. The Yankees are reluctant to sign any pitchers long term, especially if they don't need to. Stay tuned on this one, hopefully there is no bad blood here.

4. A-Rod's New Contract- 10 years and $275 million later, this has become Alex's team. After tearing it up last season and crawling back to the Yankees, maybe Alex has grown up a bit. I would imagine that there is less pressure on him that there has been in previous years. How will he respond? I expect big big things from him over the next 10 years.

5. Jeter - Jeter in my eyes had a very disappointing year last year. He was not the clutch player we've come to know, he hit into a ton of double plays, and he noticeably lost some range. This will be an interesting year for the captain, particularly after A-Rod's big deal. I think Jeter has gotten bored over the last few years, but may be a little more motivated this year to show people why he is indeed the Captain.

6. Joba - It looks like Joba is officially slated for the bullpen to start out the season. The updated "Joba Rules" seem to be the idea that Joba will throw his first 30 innings or so in the bullpen, then head to the minor leagues around June, build up his endurance and throw another 90 innings as a starter. It will be interesting to see if these plans hold up. Several factors can affect this plan, including the effectiveness of the bullpen, the rotation, and Joba's health.

7. First Base - First base is pretty much an open audition. I don't understand why they didn't at least offer Doug Mientkiewicz a spring training invite. The cast of characters includes Jason Giambi, Shelley Duncan, Wilson Betemit, Jason Lane, Morgan Ensberg, and Juan Miranda.

8. The Bullpen - The bullpen is a huge question mark - as always. It seems that 4 spots in the pen are booked with Mo, Farnsworth, Hawkins, and now Joba. The young arms are key, and I'm looking forward to seeing what these kids have.

9. Phil & Ian - A lot of eyes will be on these two as they will try to prove that Brian Cashman made the right decision in not trading them for Johan Santana. Not to put too much pressure on them, but these guys could be the key to the season.

10. Mike Mussina - Moose was awful last year. Some speculate that he was in bad shape coming in to spring training. He was not a fan of Marty Mitchell's training program and it's no surprise that he pulled a hamstring early in the year. The Yanks need Moose to be a serviceable starter. I think he has enough pride that he will finish his career on a good note. If Moose can be effective, it gives the Yanks a lot of options as to how to use Joba and the rest of the kids.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Yanks say NOhan to the Twins when it comes down to Hughes

ESPN reports that the Twins have reached agreement with the Mets to trade Johan Santana in exchange for four prospects:

I don't care if this helps the Mets, I'm just hoping it helps the Yankees. I have been against the Yanks acquiring Santana from the start, especially when it came down to Phil Hughes.

"Phil Franchise," as he has so eloquently been dubbed by Bloggers everywhere, may never become the pitcher that Santana is. He may never become the #1 Starter that scouts have predicted. Maybe he'll only be a serviceable major league starter...a #3 at best, who knows. Even if he fizzles out and fails to live up to the hype, I would still agree with this 'non-trade'.

Yankees fans love Joba because of his electric stuff and his ability to decimate a lineup. To put it simply Joba = domination. Yankees fans love Phil Hughes for a different reason. They love Phil Hughes because of what his name means. Sure, we've all heard him compared to a young Clemens and as the future ace of the Yankees, but what "Phil Hughes" means is much more. Phil Hughes is the change in philosophy in the Bronx. "The Untouchable".

How many times have we heard the hype surrounding a prospect, only to see them packaged in a deal for a washed up slugger, or over the hill veteran? Not Hughes. There was only one person in baseball that anyone would consider trading this kid for -- the kind of player that makes an 'Untouchable' touchable.

That player is Johan Santana, he is the most dominating pitcher in baseball, a strikeout machine, a lefthanded ace - and still the Yankees balked. This non-move is a testament to the changing philosophy of the Yankees, one of fiscal responsibility and building from within.

We will now have an opportunity to see what Hughes can become, not in someone else's uniform, but in Yankee pinstripes.


We already know what he is capable of. He is a 21 year-old righthander who nearly no hit the Texas Rangers until he suffered a hamstring injury. He is a 21 year-old kid who battled back from an ankle injury, learned to pitch without his best stuff, and still won. He is the kid who pitched great down the stretch in September. He is the kid who took the ball from Roger Clemens in Game 3 of the ALDS and stood up to the pressure.

He is a Yankee, and to put it simply Phil Hughes = "Untouchable."

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Uncle Sam or Yosemite Sam??


Everytime I swear that I'm going to stop writing about steroids in baseball... I write something about steroids in baseball.

Reading the NY Daily News this morning, I came across an article discussing the government's intention on releasing the names of 104 players who failed MLB's first round of drug testing in 2003. Yes, the same test which was to be 'anonymous' and for 'research purposes only.' They even plan to prosecute the steroid users, now that's gonna bring the truth out.

Releasing the names is one thing, frankly, I couldn't care less about who is on there. There will just be a series of further denials and prods into the accuracy of the testing methods. The fact that players were doing steroids is obvious, we all know this.

Here's a few other things that we also know...

Steroid use is not limited to MLB. Steroid use has been rampant in all of professional, collegiate, scholastic, and recreational sports. Sports Illustrated had an article a few weeks ago about a 13 year old who was forced to take HGH by his father so he could become a championship speed skater. America's new pastime, the NFL, has had countless players test positive for performance enhancers. Shawn Merriman tested positive for steroids last year, was given a 4 game suspension AND STILL was voted as the runner up for defensive player of the year! Hell, he even has his own Nike commercial!!

But more importantly, I also know this...

We have kids dying in Iraq, our economy is in shambles, and the Hilary Clinton v. Barack Obama saga is a testament to the absolute joke that our political system has become.

Why does our government feel the need to waste time and money to perform a witch hunt on Major League Baseball?? What is it going to accomplish? Okay, so we find out a few more players that "cheated." "Great, grand, wonderful!"

Here's an idea:

I'll leave my house that's worth about 10% less than it was three years ago, fill up my tank with cheap quality gas that costs me about $3.00 a gallon, go to staples, buy a piece of paper and an envelope with my dollar that's losing money against other currencies by the day, and write a letter to my 18 year-old cousin in Afghanistan to tell him...

"Hey dude, great news, Congress released another 22 names that weren't in the Mitchell Report! Jose Canseco wasn't lying after all! Hopefully we can bring these cretans to justice! Best of luck out there, I'll let you know when we find Chuck Knoblauch."

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Robinson Cano...don't you know


In what could turn out to be the best move of the winter for the Yanks, it appears they are closing in on a 4-year contract with Robinson Cano in the $30M neighborhood.

I've been saying for a long time that the Yanks should try to wrap up Wang and Cano before they get very expensive. Typically, the Yanks have been very reluctant to extend contracts on their young players. Now, with $80-$90M coming off the books next year, it seems they have changed their thinking.

Some speculate that Cano may be slotted into the #3 hole ahead of A-Rod this year. That speculation alone speaks volumes of what this kid may be worth. $7.5M a year seems like a steal for a guy who hit .306, 19 Hr, 97 RBI in a year where he struggled early. I expect you will see Cano break out with numbers in the .315/30/115 range this year.

Great move if this deal gets done. Cano is only 25 and widely regarded as the best second baseman in the American League.

Monday, January 7, 2008

It's okay, he played in Boston too...


This makes me feel better about life...

For those of you who haven't heard, Jose's plans for his second book, "Vindicated" have hit a snag. Don Yaeger, who was supposed to collabora....err... help Jose spell big words like "it" and "the," has dropped out of the project. Apparently Jose presented him with the material for the book and there is very little substance to it. Even more significantly, very very little concerning Arod:

"I had a chance to review the Jose Canseco [material] that he provided me. I don't think there's a book there. I don't know what they're going to do. I don't think he's got what he claims to have, certainly doesn't have what he claims to have on A-Rod. There's no meat on the bones."

More to brighten your day...



















This too....


Roger Dodger


On the way home from work tonight, I flipped to WFAN only to hear a sobbing and pathetic Brian McNamee pour his heart out to a stone cold Roger Clemens. Over the weekend, it's reported that Roger and Mac had an emotional phone conversation. Two days and one "60 Minutes" interview later, a recording of the phone conversation mysteriously gets leaked to the media. Coincidentally, Roger Clemens addressed the media the very same day. They can't write shit better than this in Hollywood!

Okay, so the "60 Minutes" interview told us little more than the fact that Roger pitched through pain and doesn't believe in lie detector tests. Being that this was a pre-recorded interview, it's safe to assume that the questions asked were authorized by Camp Clemens. Many journalists, bloggers, and laypersons are trying to decide Clemens' fate based on the number of swallows or sips of water there were in between questions. If all these people truly had Matt Parkman's "Heroes" mind-reading power, I think they'd be doing more with their time than paying attention to Roger. That's like Phil Hellmuth trying to bluff out some clown named "Imaturd69" on Poker Stars with Play Money. Get Real.

Tonight's press conference was a more convincing display by Roger. He was adamant in his denials and defiant to the end. More will be revealed, or not, in his defamation case against McNamee and his appearance before Congress.

Roger's best argument was when he asked, "How do you prove a negative?" When you think about it, he's right. There's nothing he can do to prove he is innocent. Not even a wimpering Brian McNamee recanting his Mitchell testimony will do that. The cloud of doubt is out there, and it will hover above Roger wherever he goes.

The one question I kept wondering while listening to the conference, phone call, etc. keeps echoing in my head. If Roger is guilty, why is he going to court with this? If he sauced up, McNamee will clearly repeat the testimony in the Mitchell Report. This wouldn't be a wise move, silence from McNamee is the best thing for Roger. The shadow of doubt on McNamee's testimony will be lifted if McNamee accuses Roger in a Court of Law, and the verdict in the Court of Public Opinion will likely be declared -- guilty.

Unless...
*Additional reading - great job by Buster Olney, a rational approach and some links to more on the Clemens saga

Saturday, January 5, 2008

I can't stand this guy...

So here comes my first "flip-flop" of the off-season. I loved the way Hank handled Arod, and the resigning of Jorge and Mo. He was tough, but not stupid with Alex, and in the end was willing to pay up to bring these three guys back.

The Johan Santana dealings make Hank look soft and stupid. Nobody takes this guy seriously anymore. His deadline at the Winter Meetings made headlines as he was adamant that the Yanks would no longer be involved in Santana talks. The Twins didn't bite and it seemed the Santana talk was over.

In a series of interviews since, Hank has repeatedly said that the Yanks are still in the Santana race. Which basically means that his deadlines and his tough stances are just a negotiating ploy. Only problem here is that he is only negotiating against his own organization. When have Theo Epstein or Larry Lucchino monologued over their trade offers?

Old senile George finally had it right when he turned over baseball operations to the actual baseball people in the organization. Now, as the Yanks are finally showing some fiscal restraint and willingness to develop the farm, this idiot decides that he will overrule Cashman and make the final decision on this deal.

Here's another great question...if Hank is so worthy of being the big decision maker in the organization (with brother Hal in the background of course), why was his father so willing to turn over the most prestigious franchise in sports to his deadbeat, alcoholic, son-in law??

If daddy could change his own Depends or chew his Gerber, maybe he'd wise up and let Cash take over.